The three “A’s” of divorce|Reblog

“Often, couples enter counseling when marriages are on the brink…” (Dr. Jeremy Frank’s article is here)

This is so true. The average period of time a couple delays before seeking help for a floundering relationship is SIX years. (!!) When I see them in my office, often the catalogue of hurts and acrimony between them is so bitter and so entrenched that there’s little that counseling can do. If the couple is willing to put their divorce plans on hold and seek therapy individually, then often the relationship can be salvaged.

This is less likely, however, if one or more of the “three A’s” are involved – abuse, addiction, or an affair. While not always guaranteed couple-killers, these particular issues are so complex, and so fraught with emotional baggage that recovery is difficult.

Best advice?

Don’t wait! If your relationship isn’t what you hoped it would be, or it is deteriorating in ways that are distressing, get help now. If your partner won’t accompany you,  go anyway. And if one of the three A’s is happening, definitely go. Even if your relationship ends, the support and help available through a good therapist is invaluable in recovering your sense of self and equilibrium.

More reading here –

Talk amongst yourselves...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s